Hangovers: The Pre- and Post-Motherhood Comparison

Listen up kids: drinking alcohol makes you hairy.

I went out last night. Need I say more.

Hangover Pre-Motherhood

  • Sleep as long as you could possibly need or want.
  • Have the financial means and freedom to leave the house in search of greasy, delectable hangover grub.
  • Can give ye olde liver a helping hand by going to the gym and sweating out the last traces of booze.
  • Don’t mind popping some Advil without fear of torching the remains of your liver.

Post-Motherhood Hangover

  • Much more severe; you so rarely go out that you can no longer handle your liquor. But because you rarely go out, you tend to think it’s a good idea to ‘go big’ when you do.
  • Must lift 75-pound watermelon-formerly-known-as-your-head off the pillow in the morning when the baby wakes up.
  • As if you didn’t already feel bad enough, you now have endure the guilt of letting your kid watch TV while you drool on yourself.
  • You ransack the pantry for hangover food, because leaving the house with a child to acquire such a meal requires logistics you aren’t capable of orchestrating in your current state.
  • Besides, you don’t have money in the budget for takeout because you obviously spent it all on booze last night.
  • Even if your gym has a daycare, the idea of getting yourself and wee one(s) out the door is just…no. Besides. SLEEEEEEEEEP. Please.

Did I miss any?

5 thoughts on “Hangovers: The Pre- and Post-Motherhood Comparison

  1. Have you ever considered creating an e-book or guest authoring on other blogs?

    I have a blog based upon on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my
    visitors would value your work. If you’re even remotely interested,
    feel free to send me an e mail.

  2. This is spot-on! and hysterical! I love the one about “going big” I SO relate! If I get out to drink more than once a year it is a miracle, so when I do, I usually “Go Big” which is ALWAYS a mistake!
    Great post!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>