Listen up kids: drinking alcohol makes you hairy.
I went out last night. Need I say more.
Hangover Pre-Motherhood
- Sleep as long as you could possibly need or want.
- Have the financial means and freedom to leave the house in search of greasy, delectable hangover grub.
- Can give ye olde liver a helping hand by going to the gym and sweating out the last traces of booze.
- Don’t mind popping some Advil without fear of torching the remains of your liver.
Post-Motherhood Hangover
- Much more severe; you so rarely go out that you can no longer handle your liquor. But because you rarely go out, you tend to think it’s a good idea to ‘go big’ when you do.
- Must lift 75-pound watermelon-formerly-known-as-your-head off the pillow in the morning when the baby wakes up.
- As if you didn’t already feel bad enough, you now have endure the guilt of letting your kid watch TV while you drool on yourself.
- You ransack the pantry for hangover food, because leaving the house with a child to acquire such a meal requires logistics you aren’t capable of orchestrating in your current state.
- Besides, you don’t have money in the budget for takeout because you obviously spent it all on booze last night.
- Even if your gym has a daycare, the idea of getting yourself and wee one(s) out the door is just…no. Besides. SLEEEEEEEEEP. Please.
Did I miss any?
ha, sounds like fun-fun-fun! Loved the drooled-on point! The photo is killing…
MommaO: my plan-of-the-hour is to go out more frequently, but to be reasonable in my consumption, because frankly, the current system has obviously failed me.
This is spot-on! and hysterical! I love the one about “going big” I SO relate! If I get out to drink more than once a year it is a miracle, so when I do, I usually “Go Big” which is ALWAYS a mistake!
Great post!