I used to be chronically late. I say “used to be” because I am now learning to break that habit. This is one of those habits that’s always been a problem for me and I’ve tried many tricks over the years to overcome it. Setting my clocks fast has been a long-time favorite, but that only works until I do the math to figure out what time it actually is.

I’ve tried setting up a morning routine with start and end times for each activity, but my mistake was making the routine way too detailed. Since the schedule was too complicated for morning brain, I never learned to follow it.

Steve made a comment recently that made me laugh, but it was entirely true. I will paraphrase, but it went something like this,  “I’ll be in charge of teaching our child how to be on time because obviously you can’t.”

Born to Be Late
Steve’s comment brought to mind some childhood memories of mornings in my parents’ household: the frenzied pace we all kept from waking up to fighting each other for shower time, to scarfing down a home-cooked breakfast. Then at the sound of the school bus rounding the corner, we would run wildly out the door. The bus had to stop in front of our yard as we ran screaming from the house because we were never waiting patiently at the bus stop with the rest of the prompt neighborhood kids. I have wonderful parents, but punctual is not a word that comes to mind when I describe them.

Mike over at Refocuser says, “…some of us just weren’t born with an ability to gauge elapsed or remaining time.  We consistently think we have more time than we actually do…” He calls it “time denial,” a state when one is caught up in the moment rather than moving on to the next thing.

Although he says time denial happens to everyone sometimes, holy crap, that is me most of the time. Mike has some great tips so I won’t duplicate his list, but I have a couple to add. If you don’t struggle with punctuality, but you are looking for a way to make your mornings simple and stress-free, then this is also a good exercise for you.

1. Create a morning routine on paper. Look at it with a critical eye and see what you can move to the night before or the weekend. Can you prep your lunches on Sunday? Load the coffee pot the night before and set a timer? Pack your bag and set it by the door? Edit your list accordingly once you have these other activities moved off your morning agenda.

2. Add realistic times next to each item. Once you have your routine pared down to the bare essentials it should be a pretty short list, certainly fewer than 10 items. [People who already have children: feel free to laugh at me and offer guidance.] Add what time you need to start each activity to keep your morning on schedule.

My morning routine looks like this:

7:10  Empty the dishwasher while you cook breakfast.

7:20  Eat.

7:30  Clean up and load the dishwasher.

7:35  Shower.

7:45  Dress, make-up, hair.

8:15  To the automobile!

3. Adjust your routine so that it works for you, not so that you are working for it. I had to experiment with my routine to pare it down. After a few practice runs, I adjusted the timings so that they are reasonable and easier to achieve. I had to remind myself that this ritual isn’t called “The Morning How Fast Can You Get Ready Challenge.” Try to include an activity in your routine that makes you happy. For example, I like to enjoy a cup of coffee while I cook and eat breakfast. You might have to change your routine a few times until you’re comfortable and feel good about it.

4. Try using a timer. I used a timer and kept the list in front of me and crossed off items as I went while I learned what time I should be doing which item. Aside from the geeky satisfaction I get while checking items off a list, the beep of the timer would keep me moving towards the next task so I didn’t get trapped in time denial. Sometimes when I’m in the mood for a more involved breakfast or a longer shower I bust out the timer so that I can be flexible, but I don’t completely lose the plot and fall back into old habits.

Voila! After taking these steps, you should have a predictable and relaxing flow to your morning.

Now if I can just master my evening routine… I’m working on it.