It’s funny how I can spend all this time spouting off about healthy food, and then last night, I managed to go home and sit in front of the TV with a glass of rosé and a box of petifores. I know I was actually using my illegitimate feast as a way of procrastinating writing thank you notes. So it actually had very little to do with health and food and everything to do with being a procrastinator. Once I realized what I was doing, I got down to work.

I wrote to one friend that if a meat thermometer could be cherished, then her gift would earn that honor. I hope that she doesn’t take that the wrong way. Because what I meant by that was, I adore this freakin’ meat thermometer. Our oven is a lazy good-for-nothin’ and cooking times mean jack squat to it. Now we can scoff at our oven’s propensity to disobey because we have a wireless, digital meat thermometer to thwart the oven’s efforts to dry out our roasts.

Anyway.

We’re going to Vegas! WOOO! Not until June though. Wah.

I sent this email out to some of my lady friends, (and I still need to forward it to a few more because I’m a dunder head and I forgot):

------------------
Hello my ladies,
Steve and I are going to have a joint bachelor / bachelorette party in Vegas this year. Now, I know what you're thinking. It sounds like it might be expensive, and you might actually have to talk to people you don't know. You're right that it's not free, but rest assured, you are all fabulous and I promise that you will enjoy sunning yourselves poolside by day and wandering aimless and drunk around a casino by night, and by god we'll have a damn good time doing it. Last time I went to Vegas, I got lucky at the roulette table and walked away a whole 80 dollars richer. This could be you! Plus the wedding will be a much better party, since you will have already bonded with the other leading ladies in my life, plus you'll meet the men in Steve's life.

Of course if anyone cannot make it due to financial constraints, then I fully understand and I will of course still love you just as much, if not more, for being a reasonable human being. One of you will already have been on a honeymoon that month, and another will have recently given birth. Vegas might sound like a terrible idea, and you're right. It is. I tried to argue against it myself before succumbing to the inescapable funness. So again, to those of you who can't make it, then I respect that 107.25%.

For those of you who want to party like it's 1999 and you think consequences are for suckers, then read on.

[Details, shmetails, blah blah blah, end of story.]
------------------

Why does June have to be so very far away?