An Excerpt from the Novel
Terry was always successful in relationships. Through all my days of frantic romantic obsessions, she always had a boyfriend. She made it look effortless, and I suppose that's how it was for her. She knew that the way to woo a man was to back off. I, on the other hand, was remedial. I knew I shouldn't try so hard, or really, that I shouldn't try at all. So a daily massive effort was expended on restraining myself. I never could grasp the essence of male-female relations, the subtle dance, the delicate passivity of the woman in courtship. I knew I was supposed to allow the man to give chase. Doing nothing should be effortless, right? Not for me. I was always trying desperately to attain that look of nonchalance that drives men wild.
Some men will tell you that they want to know when a woman is interested. I loved those men, because they gave me license to just be myself and show my interest. However, what they really mean by that are the almost undetectable signs of the animal kingdom -- a piece of shiny hair twirled around an index finger, a demure Mona Lisa smile, a fluttering of the eyelashes. What they don't mean is the third phone call, the tenth email and the uninvited visit to their office for good measure. I didn't know that yet.
That's why I was having a spectacular meltdown in my office on a bright Friday afternoon in September. I was fast approaching 30 years old, and the previous weekend in Paris, I broke up with Patrick, the umpteenth love of my life. I was suffering the appropriate levels of devastation one feels when you look down the barrel of the rest of your days and you see nothing but muumuus and kitty litter. I didn’t even like cats. In short, I was inconsolable.
Terry knew I would be dead meat if my ruthless boss, Sadie, saw that I had been crying, so Terry convinced me that it was okay for the two of us to leave work early. I told Sadie’s beleaguered assistant that I must’ve eaten a bad falafel from the vendor on the corner, and Terry and I slipped out. Terry had no need for excuses. She had the kind of boss who would totally understand if you needed the afternoon off to console a broken-hearted friend.
We walked the ten blocks from NBC at 30 Rock where we worked to the lobby lounge of the Mandarin Oriental for a midday cocktail. As we trudged up Sixth Avenue, I told her all about the break up.
While Patrick and I were in Paris for the long Labor Day weekend, I secretly hoped that he would pop the question. I knew it was an impossibility, as he’d never given any indication that we were as serious as that, but I’m a dreamer, which is a euphemism for delusional.
I woke up anxious the morning we had plans to visit the prime engagement spot, the Eiffel Tower. I was with the man I loved in a romantic city, I was more than ready to give my life to him, and I knew that he didn’t feel the same way. I was feeling rather bitter about that.
I told Terry how Patrick and I slogged umbrellaless through a downpour on our way to the Eiffel Tower. I was cold and soaked by the time we neared a quaint café about halfway along our route, and I suggested we stop for a hot tea so we could dry off while we waited for the rain to let up. Patrick called me a lazy whiner, and I told him he could continue on his forced march without me. We were miserable in Paris. We were primed for destruction.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please leave me a comment or email me: katie at katie morton dot com.
Katie Morton
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Reader Comments (11)
Great, as all your writing is. You have a really absorbing style, which is why I found myself combing your archives obsessively a month or so ago, unable to step away.
Just one note. I wonder is this the opening of the book? I got stuck on the ruthless boss sentence. There's something kind of empty/generic about "ruthless." And the dead meat part, rings of the Breakfast Club on TBS. I guess I'm looking for more flesh there? But maybe her awfulness has already been touched upon?
Hope you don't mind my comments!
Oh please! I LOVE it. You are my first commenter. Very exciting. This is actually the very, very beginning of the book, and I don't really get into Sadie until after this whole other scene of weekend debauchery, so it seems that in a future rewrite perhaps I should add more meat (less dead meat) about her boss to the beginning of the story. Thank you very much for reading.
I have been a faithful reader of your previous blog, and I'm really excited about this new direction in blogging. Before you were talking about writing your novel, and now we can see that you're actually doing it. You are off to a great start!
Thanks, bougainvillea! I appreciate the support.
I've loved reading your writing on your previous blog as well, it's very engaging and you always have stories that grab the reader and don't let go. That being said, I'm totally looking forward to your book and reading about the journey that writing it is going to be. Good luck!
Anyway, one comment on this first mini preview that you've so graciously given us: I absolutely love the second paragraph because of the sentence, However, what they really mean by that are the almost undetectable signs of the animal kingdom -- a piece of shiny hair twirled around an index finger, a demure Mona Lisa smile, a fluttering of the eyelashes. because it seems like the sentence itself is swirling around the index finder, giving a sweet smile and fluttering its own lashes. Does that even make sense? Anyway, it's a great image. However, in comparison, it seems like the first paragraph stumbles over itself in each sentence as they all seem to be simple sentences or just compound sentences made up of two simple sentences with a comma slapped in there.
And now I feel like a bitch because my writing's not terribly brilliant and here I am critiquing someone else.
Like I said, totally looking forward to the rest of your book and stories that'll come along with writing it.
If you don't mind my saying so, I was going to say the same thing about "beleaguered" assistant as Kristen mentioned for ruthless. Maybe another word or phrase.
I love reading your other website and look forward to more here. Thanks for taking us along! :-)
Thank you -- very valuable feedback. I really want this book to stand out, and I don't want any terms like 'ruthless' or beleaguered' to stick out and annoy people. I always hate that when I'm reading a book and I'm super annoyed by word choices, whether it's because they are hackneyed or just ... ugh. Please. You know what I mean.
Hi Katie!
I love your other blog, and I, too, and excited to see you writing your novel!
One question: Why did the heroine and Patrick go to Paris if the relationship was on the fritz? And did he break up with her by leaving her at the cafe while he went on to the Eiffel Tower? I'd love to hear more about that scene.
People are different of course, but I feel that when you've already planned and paid for a trip, especially to Europe - you go anyway and hope it works for the best. Besides, she was just too in love with Patrick to rock the boat, and he was still having fun, even if he didn't see her as marriage material.
That scene is actually just a little bit of back story, and I don't know myself how their break-up fight actually went. I might fill it out in rewrites to come though ...
I want to read more...
The things that I questioned have been mentioned - the boss and the word "beleaguered".
Thanks for sharing!
I've actually edited those parts out, although I'm not sure the replacement text is all that fantastic either ... I'm going going to plow ahead for now and deal with it when it's time to revise.
Stay tuned for more excerpts.