Today is my birthday. I have a job interview tomorrow, which really puts a damper on my celebration method. I will now examine my ideal birthday evening as opposed my stunted night-before-interview birthday evening.

Ideal Birthday Evening
1.    Dinner at fancy restaurant. I would eat many courses over several hours and go to bed as late as I want.
2.    I would eat a big ass dessert and not worry about carb bloat. Then I would come home after dinner and eat half a Carvel ice cream cake, because I could wear one of those comfy, maternity-looking, baby doll dresses to work the next day.
3.    I would drink. A lot. I would probably even get drunk. I wouldn’t worry about brain function or risk of hangover.

Now let’s examine the reality, shall we? Here will be my Stunted Night Before Big Scary Job Interview Birthday Celebration:
1.    A quick dinner in front of the TV and off to bed early so as to get that “good night’s sleep” -- which will probably consist of stress-induced insomnia because that’s standard pre-interview sleep for me.
2.    The food I actually eat for dinner is irrelevant, as long as the sodium and carb content isn’t offensive. Translation: hamburger, no bun. I need to feel at least somewhat comfortable in my interview pants tomorrow, and not at all like I’m on the verge of splitting the lining. No cake, but maybe I’ll stick a candle in a sugar-free fudgcicle for dessert or chew a piece of gum.
3.    No drinking. Must preserve what little remaining brain tissue I have left so that I can listen to the interviewer’s questions long enough to understand what she is asking and then formulate a response that matches the question.

No need to feel sorry for me, though. I fully plan to implement Ideal Birthday Evening Celebration either tomorrow or at some point this weekend.

What this all means for my word count is that it’s on hold today and tomorrow, since I need to research for this interview. Although, I still think I can write 3,700 words by Friday, so I might just stay on schedule. Maybe. I’ll make up for it this weekend otherwise.