Can Parents Prepare Themselves for the Sting of Rejection — of Their Children?

It's all fun and games until somebody gets rejected.

A story in which a hug between toddlers goes awry, and an overly enthusiastic Momma Bear hijacks my internal dialog.

Alex is at that age, nearing 2 years old, when she’s excited to play with other kids. She has a twice-weekly playdate with the 2-year-old that lives across the hall from our apartment. When these two little girls get together, it’s an unmitigated pandemonium of happiness: screeches and squeals of joy while they chase each other and jump up and down on the couch. The whole scene reminds me of when Alex met my parents’ golden retriever: lots of happy screaming and running, plenty of scratches and bumps and bruises that would normally be a game stopper, except that the game is too fun to give up. In a word, delightful.

Yesterday, we went over to another friend’s house in the neighborhood. Read more at Parentables.com…

How Discovering Your Inner Lizard Can Make You Happier and More Productive

My poor baby!Meet my inner lizard. Her name is Shelby. She looks a little depressed because she’s worried that nobody likes her. Shelby voices these fears when I merely consider meeting up with very good friends. So you can imagine what happens when I sit down to blog and people who don’t know me are going to judge me based on a few paragraphs of prose. Shelby goes a little nuts, to put it mildly. I tell her, “Aw, there, there, Shelby. It’s okay. Some people like you, and some people don’t. But it’s nothing to worry about. You just go out there and be YOU and good things will happen. Nothing good comes from hiding.”

The amazing thing is that it’s working. I’m getting more joy from my work and I feel less stress. This makes me more productive and more likely to promote my pieces when I don’t spend energy caring that some people might not like me. Thanks to Shelby, I’m coming out of my shell and it feels great.

Inner Lizard? What Are You TALKING About, You FOOL!  Read more at Parentables.com…

Hangovers: The Pre- and Post-Motherhood Comparison

Listen up kids: drinking alcohol makes you hairy.

I went out last night. Need I say more.

Hangover Pre-Motherhood

  • Sleep as long as you could possibly need or want.
  • Have the financial means and freedom to leave the house in search of greasy, delectable hangover grub.
  • Can give ye olde liver a helping hand by going to the gym and sweating out the last traces of booze.
  • Don’t mind popping some Advil without fear of torching the remains of your liver.

Post-Motherhood Hangover

  • Much more severe; you so rarely go out that you can no longer handle your liquor. But because you rarely go out, you tend to think it’s a good idea to ‘go big’ when you do.
  • Must lift 75-pound watermelon-formerly-known-as-your-head off the pillow in the morning when the baby wakes up.
  • As if you didn’t already feel bad enough, you now have endure the guilt of letting your kid watch TV while you drool on yourself.
  • You ransack the pantry for hangover food, because leaving the house with a child to acquire such a meal requires logistics you aren’t capable of orchestrating in your current state.
  • Besides, you don’t have money in the budget for takeout because you obviously spent it all on booze last night.
  • Even if your gym has a daycare, the idea of getting yourself and wee one(s) out the door is just…no. Besides. SLEEEEEEEEEP. Please.

Did I miss any?

Coping With Tantrums by Channeling Ron Burgundy and his Glass Case of Emotion

If you are already familiar with the phrase ‘glass case of emotion’ then you obviously don’t need to watch this clip, although if you want a good laugh, then by all means, go right ahead. For the uninitiated and those who are too lazy to watch video clips — oh my GOD, you HAVE to WATCH this CLIP. If you still refuse, then FINE. I’ll tell you what I’m talking about.

In the movie Anchorman, Ron Burgundy is driving along a bridge with his beloved little dog, Baxter, in the car. Ron is eating a burrito, and when he’s through with it, he carelessly throws his half-eaten burrito out of the car window and pelts a man on a motorcycle (played by Jack Black) right in the face. Jack loses control of the bike, and Ron pulls over to see if he’s alright. Jack, incensed, grabs Baxter and punts him off the side of the bridge.

That’s the set up that allows us to access Ron’s glass case of emotion. He is completely and utterly so distraught by the loss of Baxter that he has an enormous ‘mantrum’ (man tantrum) complete with hysterics and wailing, from inside a phone booth while he calls the local TV station where he’s the news anchor. When asked where he is, he wails, “I’m in a glass case of emotion!”

Coping With Tantrums by Channeling Ron Burgundy

While anyone can appreciate the humor in Ron Burgundy’s tantrum, it especially becomes a joy to watch when you actually have someone in the house who’s capable of such a reaction over much lesser incidents than a lost dog.

Today when I attempted a gym daycare drop-off with Alex, there was a major freak out. Well, she was fine when I left her sitting there playing with the giant foam letters – her dream toy. She was so absorbed, that I tiptoed away. (I know, head-slap.) However, upon exiting the locker room, I heard screaming. Crazy, glass-case-of-emotion screaming. It occurred to me pretty quickly, “Oops, that one’s mine.”

As the daycare lady handed Alex over to me, I said, “Are you in a glass case of emotion?” The daycare lady laughed. Alex seriously answered, “A glass case of emotion.”

Right now, “glass case of emotion” is Alex’s favorite phrase. When we got home, I didn’t get her shoes and socks off her feet fast enough. She started to have a slight freak out. I bellowed, “GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!” She laughed, and gleefully shouted it back.

She said it several more times, sounding like she was doing a Ron Burgundy impression. So I let her watch the clip so she could at least see what the heck we’re talking about. She thought Ron’s mantrum was pretty darn funny.This key phrase will serve as a good tantrum breaker for as long as the entertainment value holds.

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When Your Kid Says You’re Her Best Friend, Cling to That Memory for Dear Life

My favorite little girl.

It started with a business trip. How desperately I missed my daughter manifested itself in the form of anxiety and tears. I wondered if I was cut out for travel away from my family. Over the phone, her little voice brightened my day with, “Hi, Mom! Hi, Mom! Hi, Mom! Hi, Mom!”

I Love This Part of Parenthood

The morning after my return, as I unzipped her sleep sack, Alex cheerfully pipped, “I’m glad you’re back!” Damn, that felt good.

Then last week, she said, “I’m happy you’re my friend,” as she leaned into me for a hug. The next day, she escalated my label to “best friend.” I was obsessed with these comments from her. I had to loosen up the pressure valve of happiness bursting in my heart by sharing her remarks on my Facebook wall. Read More on Parentables.com